i have so much hate 4 him in my heart. he didnt even deserve the love that use 2 be there just 4 him,but i still gave it 2 him anyways despite everything he has done 2 purposely hurt me. God why was i so stupid 2 try and 4give him and make everything alrite. he never really loved me and he never loved mishun either because if he did he wouldnt have kept messin with her when she the reason he not here in the 1st place. i feel so damn stupid and hurt. but he dont care,he gone keep living his life and 4get about me. i wish he could hurt the way he hurt me. God why did u let this happen 2 me,i mean im not trying 2 blame u i just dont understand why when i was so good 2 him he took it 4 granted and hurt me so bad. everyday i just wana break down and cry and then there are days where i wana hurt him the way he hurt me so he can see what it feels like. why? why everything? why me?

od idk why i was so stupid 2 think that me and michael were meant 2 be 2gether. I luved him so much ,but he kuldnt even see it. He say that idk how 2 luv him and that he kant trust me, but the way I see it,itz realli the other way around with him and her. She doesnt realli luv him,like she fools him 2 think. But 1 day like his mother says,he will see that she is the devil. Im 2 good 4 him,and even if it takes years and years he will see that he realli lost sumthan good.One day he will see that he realli messed up,even if all those hateful things he said 2 me were just out of anger it was the truth. People speak the truth when they are mad and he spoke it all. Thats how he feels and i kant realli do anything about it. She is his downfall and will 4ever be. I shouldnt sit around wishing bad on anybody,being depressed,or none of that that will bring me down. I have a job,a new apartment,friends,im going 2 school,and im beautiful. I shouldnt have any reason 2 feel the way i feel. And I shouldnt let any 1 else make me feel that way. So God idk how long its gone take 4 me 2 get over this 4 a second time,but I promise it wont happen again. He gone regret what  he did,but its gone be 2 late.

(1st Prayer)Dear God, i realli need your help. I need you 2 help get Michael away from the streets. Please get him out the streets and away from jewel. God please get him away from all the negativity in his life thats holding him back from moving forward in life. He started 2 try and move away from all that,but he got sucked so far back in that he starting 2 get discouraged and he losing his confidence. God please hear my prayer and please answer in the name oof Jesus. Please God I love him so much and only want the best 4 him. Please get him away from Kevin,Jewel,Donavan,and Shavondria,and who eva else having a bad influence on him in his life. I only want the best 4 him so please hear me out and answer my prayer. In the name of Jesus AMEN.

(2nd Prayer) Dear God, can you please see to it that i get my hours back at work. Please God I really need my hours back. Im streesing because im scared that I wont be able to pay everything I need to get into my apartment next month. Please God if I cant get 36 can I at least getmy regular hours of 35. I know that I might be asking for alot,but these are things that I really need and my prayers are never selfish. When I pray Im always either praying for somebody else or only things that I really and truely need. Please God please I really need my hours back God. I want to be able to help out my Mama,Mikey,and who eva else need help. I love helping people its a passion of mine im sure you know. So God in the name of Jesus please answer my Prayers. AMEN.

Dear Father, i need yur help. Mi job iz startin 2 kut hourz and i was 1 of the ppl. So im coming 2 u asking u 2 please give me more hours at my job. I will do wateva i have 2 do, but please please jus please give me mi hours bac. If i kant get 36 kan i please at lease get 35? Please God i need mi hours. In Jesus holy name please hear mi prayer and answer. Amen

*SIGH* i dont know wat im doin anymore. i no longer hav a reason 4 wat im doin. i kuldnt giv miself a reason even if i wanted 2. im jus doin wat im doin jus 2 be doin it. i no longer hav n e kind of feelinz towardz it. now im jus livin each day goin thru the phasez of it all. im jus lettin it run itz kourse and then wen itz finalli done,im gone.

I disconnected miself from mi friendz and almost mi family,jus so i kan mak sure that im here 4 u. That was a mistake bkuz wen im here 4 u, u M.I.A. on me. I go outta mi way 2 mak sure u hav wat u need,2 mak sure dat u safe,warm,and hav a full stomach. Well mayb itz time i stopped. Jus stop it all

Watz da point n e more? Our luv iz gon. The chemistry we had iz no longer there. The spark betweeen us has finalli died down. The flame 2 our romance has been put out. U r no longer mi light in mi darkest hour. I no longer yern 2 be with u 4 an eternaty no more. I have let go of the dream of sumday carryin yur last name or baring yur child. Mi body no longer aches 4 yur touch. Mi soul no longer wishez 2 connect with yurz. Yur once inked name iz no longer visible on me. I no longer luk 4 u in mi time of need. How i tried so hard 2 show u that im all u need. How i tried 2 show u that mi luv 4 u iz strong and unconditionalli everlasting, but stil it wasnt enough. So our time iz up. There iz no more hope. Im alwayz there 4 u no matter wat happenz, but wen it kam time 4 me i was alwayz left alone. The sun has set on our luv and now i  ust let u go 

ok so we bac on gud termz and im so happi 4 that. I thank God 4 answerin mi prayerz and bringin him bac 2 me. He’s put hisself bac in school now so thatz a gud start 2 a new beggining. He still hangz out late @ nite 2 chill n do wateva he do, but thatz kool bkuz i understand that he needz sum free time and it doesnt realli bother me that much bkuz i kno that as soon as he done he gon kum rite bac 2 me. He kno that with me he aint gota worri bout not havin no klean klothz. he aint gota worri bout wat if he gon b able 2 eat that day. he aint gota worri bout if he gon b able 2 take a shower. He kno dat wen he wit me he aint gota worri bout no bullshit period. Im glad he bac. he mi heart and i love him 2 death. and this time im not gone try 2 rush nuthan,we gon tak it as slow as we need 2 bkuz this time itz goone work out. ima be bi his side thru thick and thin,gud timez and bad,4 better or 4 worse. i love u mlm